


Tomorrow

by galerian_ash



Category: Ajeossi | The Man From Nowhere
Genre: F/M, Post-Canon, Prison, Second Chances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 15:10:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1095473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galerian_ash/pseuds/galerian_ash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The adventures of Pawnshop Ghost and Garbage Can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [downjune](https://archiveofourown.org/users/downjune/gifts).



**Friendship**

There were things you had to accept that you'd never experience again, when you went to prison. For Tae-sik it was easy. He'd already given them up, years ago.

Two months into his sentence, he was told he had a visitor. He assumed that Dal-seo had come to check in on him, and followed the guard without any question.

He was brought to a separate room instead of the main visiting area. That sent off warning bells, but he wasn't given enough time to think — the guard opened the door and ushered him inside without any preamble.

There, on the other side of a plastic barrier, stood So-mi.

Tae-sik drank in the sight of her. He'd allow himself that much, at least. With great care he tried to commit the glow in her eyes to memory. He still had no photo, but he'd never lost the feeling of lingering warmth from the hug she'd so freely given.

Finally forcing himself to look away and _act_ , he raised his head and looked at the people who stood behind her. There was an uneasy-looking woman, and a stony-faced man whose nervousness was betrayed by the rapid tapping of his foot.

"She shouldn't be here," Tae-sik said, addressing the pair. Not waiting for a reply, he turned around. The urge to steal one last look at So-mi was almost unbearable, but he refused to give in. It would only make things worse in the long run, for both of them. She needed a clean break, and he didn't want to see the result of his words. There was no doubt that he had just erased that happy smile off her face.

Gritting his teeth, he nodded to the guard. The door was opened, and Tae-sik walked away.

\----

The next week, when visitation day came again, Tae-sik was prepared. He calmly refused the visit, letting none of his inner turmoil show.

He did the same the following two weeks, and then the nightmare came. It was one he'd had before, but that was no comfort.

No, it didn't help to know that it wasn't real, when she was in front of him like this. A child with empty eye sockets, forced to roam the afterworld for an eternity, utterly lost. All because he'd failed her. No matter how he tried to reach her, he never quite managed.

Tae-sik woke up with a strangled scream, covered in sweat. He buried his head in his hands, and knew that he had to see her.

A few painfully slow hours later, the guard came. Upon seeing Tae-sik standing ready, he raised his eyebrows. 

"What," he said, "finally reach your breaking point?" The mocking words were softened by a grin. "Can't say I blame you; I wouldn't have been able to resist either. She's real stubborn — reminds me of my own kid."

Tae-sik didn't answer. He was used to everyone giving him a wide berth, both prisoners and guards. It didn't make sense for someone to try and start a friendly conversation with him, not without some ulterior motive.

The guard shrugged at his silence, and simply motioned for him to get out of his cell.

Once again he was brought to the private visiting room. So-mi stood in the same spot, although this time she was staring at her feet. The same two people stood behind her, looking more relaxed this time.

So-mi looked up at the sound of the door, and the way her face slowly lit up was like seeing the sun rise after a particularly dark and lonely night. "Ajeossi!"

Oh, but it was good to see her — to hear her voice, calling _his_ name. "Hi," he replied, not trusting his voice to say more than that.

It was apparently more than enough, as her smile widened even more.

\----

It became tradition after that. Once a week, she'd come to see him. He hadn't expected that kind of loyalty from her, and it meant more to him than he could ever say.

It didn't even matter that they weren't ever alone. The man and woman with So-mi worked at the orphanage she currently lived in, but they had enough tact to stay at the back of the room. Listening to everything that was said, naturally, but that was fine. More than fine; it was good that they were looking after her.

And it was almost like in the past, the way they spent time together. He couldn't cook for her anymore, and she couldn't share her music with him — but aside from that, and the physical barrier between them, it was easy to pretend that things were just like they had once been. Perhaps too easy, but it was a boon as well. After all, time passed quickly when you lived solely for one day of the week.

\----

Her fingers were covered in band-aids. It was the first thing he saw, and it immediately became the only thing he could focus on. There was no other visible damage, but she wouldn't quite meet his eyes.

He felt his body tensing up, but forced himself to stay calm and sit down. "What happened?"

"I knew you'd notice," she muttered, grimacing. "It's nothing though, honest."

Tae-sik began going over his contingency plan. He'd kept close check on the guards and routines, noting all weaknesses that could enable a possible escape — just in case of a situation like this.

" _Ajeossi_."

The urgency in her voice brought him back to the present. So-mi was looking at him with wide eyes, shaking her head. "Don't," she whispered. "I promise you, everything is okay."

It felt strange to realize just how well she knew him. Strange, but not entirely disturbing.

"Alright," he answered. "I'll trust you. I hope you can tell me, when you're ready."

So-mi pressed her lips together and nodded rapidly.

She wasn't her usual talkative self that day, leaving the burden of conversation on him. He did his best, asking about school and so on, and let her be the quiet one for once.

\----

Next week he entered the visiting room with trepidation, and had his fears confirmed with one look at So-mi.

She sat with her shoulders slumped in obvious defeat, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy. She'd been _crying_ , damn it all.

Tae-sik cursed himself for not listening to his instincts. He walked up to the chair and sat down, keeping a calm façade for the sake of the guard and the two spectators from the orphanage. Inside, however, he was planning. He'd break out that same day, as soon as So-mi was gone so she wouldn't end up in the crossfire.

"I'm so sorry!"

The blurted apology made no sense. He frowned, and looked at her in confusion.

"I-I'm sorry," she repeated, "your cactus... I tried to take care of it, but — it's dead."

Tae-sik could only stare, at a complete loss for words.

Apparently misinterpreting his silence, So-mi looked away as her eyes filled with tears. "It was the only thing you _had_ , and I wanted to keep it for you until you could take it back. But it started to just dry up. I tried to replant it and I thought it'd help, but-"

"That's why your fingers were hurt last week," Tae-sik said, interrupting the flow of words.

She nodded as she rubbed her eyes with the palm of her hand. She looked utterly miserable, and something inside of Tae-sik _ached_.

"Thank you," he said, and watched as her head snapped up in obvious surprise. It clearly hadn't been what she'd expected to hear.

"You're not disappointed?"

"No. I'm happy, So-mi. You're the best friend anyone could ask for."

With the shaky beginnings of a smile, So-mi got up from her chair to press her hand against the barrier.

He'd been given strict instructions that he was not to touch it, but he couldn't deny her silent request — regardless whether or not he got punished for it.

He reached out, placing his hand on the other side of hers. They stayed like that for a moment, until a cough came from behind him. He glanced over his shoulder to meet the gaze of the guard. It was Park, the man who'd once compared So-mi to his own child.

"Just don't make a habit of it," Park said.

Tae-sik inclined his head, hoping it conveyed at least a bit of his gratitude.

Park returned the nod and added a small grin of his own, before pointedly looking away.

He turned back to So-mi. She still looked sad, and her hand was pressed so hard against the plastic that the skin was whitening.

He wanted to make her happy, somehow. "Hey," he heard himself say, "when I get out of here, we'll go buy another cactus. Together, just you and me."

It was a lie; he knew damn well that he'd probably never be released — but even though he hated himself for lying to her, it was what she wanted to hear. And if that was what she needed from him, then so be it.

It was all he could do for her, now.

\----

**Time**

"Surprise!"

I took Tae-sik a second to understand what she meant, and then it hit him like a fist to the temple. "You're alone."

"I'm finally deemed old enough to see you on my own," she said, beaming.

...Older. She was, wasn't she? Time had gone by without him even noticing it, and So-mi had grown into a young woman. It was a painful realization, yet it still filled him with a sense of pride. She had done well. She was okay, dedication to a certain condemned prisoner notwithstanding.

"I thought you'd be glad, too."

There was disappointment in her voice, and he hurried to reassure her. "I _am_ , it's just — it's hard to keep track of time."

"Oh." Her eyes lowered, eyelashes casting long shadows on her cheeks. "It's not fair. I wish..."

"We've been over this before," he replied, gently rebuking her. "I don't want you to think about it."

"I don't care," she snapped. It made him feel like laughing; that display of quick teenage temper. He might not have wanted to realize her age before, but now he was certainly getting his nose rubbed in it.

"So tell me," he said, mostly to change the subject, "was it difficult to convince them?"

So-mi snorted. "They were pretty thrilled to finally be rid of me, I think. I've been nothing but trouble to them."

"Oh?" Tae-sik frowned. This was the first he'd heard of her having problems at the orphanage. "How do you mean?"

"Well, they didn't exactly enjoy coming here once a week."

"No, but they still did it."

"Only because I forced them," So-mi said, only to cringe. "Forget I said that," she tried.

"So-mi..."

"Okay, okay — I didn't want you to know, because I knew how you'd react!"

"Just tell me," Tae-sik said, struggling to keep the anger out of his voice. If she'd done something foolish for his sake...

"They told me I should forget about you; that a child had no place visiting a prisoner. I wasn't about to accept that, so I ran away. Repeatedly." She shrugged, utterly nonchalant, as if she was talking about the weather. "When they'd finally had enough of that we made a deal. I'd stay put, in exchange for being able to see you."

Tae-sik ran a hand through his hair, trying to make sense of the chaotic emotions inside of him.

"Don't be angry, please."

"Just... don't do anything like that ever again. Understand? You have no business putting yourself at risk for my sake."

So-mi was silent for a long while, a pensive look on her face. "Tae-sik, can I ask you something?" she finally said.

The use of his real name wasn't the best of signs. She rarely used it, saving it for moments of seriousness and questions he'd rather not answer. Still, he couldn't very well say no. He nodded in silent acquiescence.

"How do you know when you're in love?"

...And it was so much worse than he could've imagined.

"Why do you ask?" he began, realizing the unfairness of the question as it left his lips.

Her face reddened, but she held his gaze without averting her eyes. "I just need to know, please. How did you feel about your wife?"

"I... loved her." What else could he say? He still did, even though the feelings had grown distant over the years. The pain, too, had changed — it was less sharp now, and like a dull blade it didn't cut quite as deep.

"I know." So-mi's smile was sad, and when she reached out to touch the barrier he didn't hesitate. He placed his hand over hers, and continued.

"When you love someone, you want to be with them. Even when you have to work or be away from them, they're on your mind. And if you can't see them, there's a part of you that's empty — you're never truly happy, on your own."

The words laid him bare, despite the fact that he wasn't that man anymore — that man had died alongside Yeon-soo.

The gleam of unshed tears made So-mi's eyes sparkle with light. "Thank you," she whispered. "Turns out I knew that already, but I still... I wanted to be sure."

A part of Tae-sik was desperate to ask, to find out just who had earned her affection. But love was a private thing, wasn't it? He had no right to ask, and so he wouldn't.

Maybe someday she'd tell him, out of her own volition.

\----

**Killing**

It all happened in a matter of seconds, yet for Tae-sik time seemed to slow down to a crawl.

The dining area had been difficult to get used to at first. The mass of prisoners that were crammed into it made it feel unstructured and volatile, like a powder keg just waiting to go off. Fights broke out regularly, despite the presence of guards at every table.

That was why it made no sense for the prison warden to bring guests to see it. He supposed it was a way of bragging, to show that they could not only handle, but also make their dangerous prisoners behave like civilized human beings.

At least there were rarely any problems during those times; the guards were always on high alert whenever someone was shown around. Today, however, things felt different.

The man with the prison warden was vaguely familiar — a politician, from the look of him. Probably high-ranking as well, considering the five extra guards that followed behind them.

Out of the corner of his eye, Tae-sik saw a flurry of movements. Three men got to their feet, throwing themselves at the table guard. The one assigned to Tae-sik's section was Park.

He stood no chance against the trio, and soon stood frozen with a knife against his throat. The man who held him in a painful-looking grip seemed to know what he was doing; he was calm, and even had the confidence to smooth back his floppy mohawk.

Thus assured that Park was relatively safe for the moment, and that there was no need to immediately act, Tae-sik focused on the other two men.

Using Park as leverage, they'd made their way to the warden and the guest. They were shouting orders to the guards, but he ignored the words in favor of studying their movements. The one who grabbed hold of the guest was young, just a kid really, and had nothing but terror in his eyes. He was unpredictable, and therefore the most dangerous.

The other one Tae-sik knew by word of mouth, and recognized thanks to his facial tattoo. He was a newcomer, and supposedly a cocky one; he'd been bragging that he would break out quickly. Apparently he'd been serious about it.

He displayed a violent streak, forcing the guards to kneel and then kicking a couple of them. When he'd finally had enough of that, he went for the warden and slapped him a few times.

"Hey," Mohawk yelled, "don't waste time! Let's get out of here."

"Don't tell me what to do!"

Sensing their discord, the warden spoke up. "This won't ever work. Give up peacefully, now, for your own sakes."

"Shut up," Tattoo snarled. "You should take us seriously, if you know what's good for you. Seong-min, show him. We don't need that guard when we have these two, anyway."

Mohawk bared his teeth in a cruel smirk, and that was Tae-sik's cue. He swept his plate of food towards them as distraction, at the same time he launched himself onto the table and sprinted down it.

He'd planned on kneeing Mohawk in the face, but the way he tightened his grip around the knife made it clear that wouldn't work. Tae-sik needed to separate Park from him, _now_. A running tackle was his best bet, even if it was risky.

He jumped, colliding with Mohawk and toppling him to the ground. Tae-sik made sure to grab hold of his wrist in the fall, so that he wouldn't manage to move the knife. Park was thankfully smart enough to simply get out of the way, rolling to safety as soon as he was able.

They got to their feet, and Mohawk instantly made to stab him. It came from above, which revealed a surprising amount of inexperience — or perhaps it was just stupidity. Tae-sik blocked it easily, grabbing the arm and wrenching the knife from his hand. In a quick upward arc he easily sliced through the fingers that tried to stop the knife, and buried it in his stomach. He twisted the knife as he yanked it out, maximizing the flow of blood and effectively taking Mohawk out of the fight.

A guttural scream made him spin around, but it was just Kid panicking. Tattoo seemed unnerved too, judging by the tremor in his hands. A few droplets of blood ran down the warden's throat, staining the collar of his white dress shirt.

"Back off!"

Tae-sik didn't bother replying. Behind his back, he flipped the knife in his hand, trying to get an idea of its weight and balance. It was in his favor; light, thin, and very sharp. He was close enough to make the throw, as well.

He'd wanted to take out Kid, feeling that he posed the greater threat to his hostage. But looking at him now, terrified face covered in tears and snot, he just... couldn't. Tattoo on the other hand was forcefully trying to move the warden, apparently intent on using him as a shield.

Tae-sik narrowed his eyes, focused on his target, and threw it with all the speed and force he could muster.

It went cleanly through Tattoo's eye, embedding itself to the hilt. His face grew blank and slack before he slowly slid to the ground.

There was no more time to waste on him. Tae-sik turned his gaze to Kid. "Drop the knife," he said.

Kid didn't so much drop it as he _threw_ it. He sank to his knees, sobbing.

The guards swarmed over the scene, some ushering away the warden and the guest, while others pounced on Kid. Tae-sik turned around, seeking out Park. He was crouched beside Mohawk, pressing his blood-soaked jacket to the stomach wound.

Park met his gaze for one second, and then he looked away. There was an uneasy twist to his mouth and something akin to fear in his eyes. He'd never been anything but friendly and kind, but now, after seeing what kind of man Tae-sik truly was, he clearly knew better.

Someone grabbed him, wrenching him away from the carnage and out of the dining area. Tae-sik let himself be shoved into his cell, saying nothing to his defense.

There was blood on his hands.

And it was almost funny, because killing was one of the things he'd never expected to experience again. It was also the one thing he'd thought he wouldn't miss.

But he was still a killer, and always would be. He was a fool for ever having believed otherwise.

\----

"Do you know why you're here?"

Tae-sik shook his head. Though he could guess, of course, since there weren't really a lot of reasons for him to be brought to the warden's office. The altercation two days ago was bound to have repercussions, and he supposed now was the time to discover what they were.

Either way, he just wanted to find out quickly and be done with it. It was visiting day, and he needed time to steel himself before going to see So-mi. She was going to be so disappointed, and that was the worst thing about this whole mess.

"Tell me," the warden continued, "did you know the man who was with me, during the situation?"

"No."

"He was originally a lawyer, but then he got involved in politics and is currently serving as a governor. Suffice it to say that he's a very important man. After... ah, seeing you in _action_ , so to speak, he was quite interested in your story."

That wasn't what Tae-sik had expected to hear, and he couldn't understand where it was going. 

"Prison reform is something he's very invested in, you see. He feels that you're a prime example of someone who deserves a second chance. I don't share his general views, but that doesn't mean that I can't make exceptions." His hand moved up to his neck, rubbing the bandaged wound he found there. "And I do appreciate your assistance."

"I... don't understand." That was true enough, but yet it didn't matter — that most deadly of things was starting to take hold, inside of him. _Hope_. He didn't need it, didn't want it, but there it was, nonetheless.

"The remainder of your sentence is being suspended. You will be required to check in once a week, but if things go well that period of time will be lengthened. If you wish, we'll assist you in finding work — the Governor actually said that he would've been glad to hire you as his bodyguard. The press would be less than favorable, however, so that's not a viable option. But perhaps something similar would suit you, especially considering your previous line of work."

All he could think of was how So-mi would react. He distantly understood that it was probably a defense mechanism; that he couldn't quite cope with it himself — but that made no difference. He saw her smiling face in front of him, and wondered if it'd be as vibrant without the barrier to separate them.

"Your release will be arranged within the coming week. Before you return to your cell, I think it's only fair to mention that you had one more champion. Park Min-ho fought for you as well. He's been assigned to your section during the whole time you've been here, and according to his testimony you've never caused any problems. A model prisoner, he said — and a good friend. He's truly grateful to you for saving his life."

And that, that was too much. Tae-sik lowered his head, unable to even answer.

"He's taken some time off, as I'm sure you've noticed. Said he wanted to be with his family. He asked me to give you his thanks."

"Tell him... Tell him that I owed him one," Tae-sik said, remembering the day, so many years ago, when Park had allowed him to break the rules and touch the barrier.

The warden looked curious, but when no explanation was forthcoming he simply nodded. "I will," he promised.

\----

**Freedom**

Tae-sik was still reeling when he entered the visiting room. So-mi picked up on it immediately.

"What's wrong?" she said, getting to her feet and moving close to the separating barrier — as if she could somehow reach him.

"Nothing's _wrong_ ," he replied, foregoing the chair to walk straight up to her. He placed his hand on the plastic, absently noting that her face grew even more worried. She hurried to put her hand there too.

"Tae-sik, what is it? Please tell me."

"This is the last time we'll meet in here," he mumbled, more to himself than her. It was all he'd known, for so long — and now it was suddenly coming to an end. Never again would he look at her frown without being able to reach out and smooth it away, and there'd be no more tears that he wouldn't be able to simply wipe away. Next time she laughed, he would be able to catch her up and spin her in the air, feeling the warmth of her body as it shook with mirth.

Belatedly, he realized that she was speaking. He forced himself to focus on the rapid string of words.

"Whatever happened, I'll fix it. I promise! So please, Ajeossi, don't look like that. It makes my heart hurt."

A feeling of peace came over Tae-sik. He smiled, letting all the tenderness he felt for her shine through. "How about we arrange to meet on the outside, instead?"

\----

It wasn't as if he'd spent all his time indoors; the yard area was an obligatory part of prison life, as it supposedly had a good influence on the prisoners' psyches. Still, the air felt entirely different today, now that the prison gates were _behind_ him.

He stood for a while, head bent back and with his eyes squinting against the sharp sunlight. Then, he slowly turned around, acknowledging the presence to his left.

Looking at So-mi was almost as painful as looking at the sun. He stood there, just staring, as an odd sense of uncertainty kept him rooted to the spot. Now that this moment was finally here, he didn't know how to act.

So-mi raised her arms in a silent invitation, just like she'd done on that day. He took an unsteady step towards her, and she immediately closed the rest of the distance between them.

Then she was in his arms, blessedly warm and real.

The last time he'd held her, she'd been small and frail — now, she was a grown woman, tall enough that her hair tickled his chin. He bent his head, and breathed in the scent of her.

"Ajeossi," she said, "welcome home."

Maybe it was an odd thing to say, as they were standing in the middle of a street, but to Tae-sik it made perfect sense.

He was with So-mi, and wherever she was, was home.

\----

**Love**

Dinner that night consisted of sausages. He'd half expected it, and ate with a smile. She kept looking up, stealing glances at him — almost as if afraid he'd up and disappear.

Tae-sik was tired to the bone, and So-mi picked up on it. When she suggested going to sleep early, he didn't protest. There was a tense knot in his stomach, an unspoken fear of the future. He silently swore to deal with everything in the morning; at the very least, he'd find some place to stay. He couldn't impose on her for more than one night.

She was carrying blankets and pillows to the couch, making a makeshift bed. He took a step towards it, only for her to stop him.

"You're sleeping in there," she said, pointing to the bedroom.

"No."

"Yes, you are! Don't argue with me."

Tae-sik returned her glare. "I'm not about to take your bed and force you to sleep on the couch."

"Do you remember all those times you let me stay the night, when my mom was..." she trailed off, a look of sadness flitting over her features. "Look," she continued, "you _always_ gave me your bed. Then, in the morning, I'd find you slumped over the table!"

"That's different."

"It is not different. Tae-sik, please. At least tonight, okay? I want you to sleep on a real bed, your first night out. I was going to get a bed, but then I thought that you should get to decide on one yourself."

So she planned on having him stay, right there in her apartment. Tae-sik closed his eyes. The use of his real name told him she was dead serious, and he knew this was a fight he couldn't win without doing some real damage.

"Alright."

She grinned widely, as if he'd given her some amazing gift. "Then go right ahead. There's a new toothbrush for you in the bathroom, and I've laid out some clothes for you to sleep in. Just a T-shirt and some sweatpants," she said, as a slight blush appeared on her cheeks. "I hope they fit you."

Tae-sik had used to sleep in just his boxers, but that was definitely not an option here. "Thanks," he said, and — feeling oddly self-conscious — went to get ready for the night.

\----

Sleep proved elusive, despite his weariness. Frustrated, he buried his head in the pillow, only to jerk away. It smelled like So-mi.

It distracted him to the point that he didn't even notice her, standing in the doorway, until she spoke up. "Ajeossi? You awake?"

"Mm, can't sleep. Same for you?"

"No, I..."

"What's wrong?" He sat up, unconsciously making room for her to sit down. A decision he instantly regretted as she joined him on the bed.

"I was asleep, but something woke me and I — I just had to make sure you were really here."

Wanting to somehow prove it to her, he reached out. He'd meant to ruffle her hair, but it ended up being some sort of awkward petting motion instead. She didn't seem to mind, judging by the way she leaned into the touch.

"I'm so glad you're here," she said — or, at least, he _thought_ that was what she said; it was a bit difficult to make out, what with the jaw-popping yawn she unleashed.

"Hey," he said softly, "take the bed. I'll go to the couch." Then, to pre-empt any protests, he added, "I can't sleep anyway, so it's fine."

"No, stay here. Since you can't sleep, we'll talk."

"So-mi..."

"I mean it. There were so many nights at the orphanage, when I lay awake and wished you were there to talk to."

Tae-sik watched in silence as she lifted her legs and slid them under the blanket. Her ice-cold toes brushed against him a second later. He forced himself to stay still and not pull away.

"I kept hoping you'd be adopted by a good family," he confessed.

"What? I never let anything like that happen," she said, sounding almost affronted.

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Being adopted would've meant not being able to see you anymore. I couldn't let that happen."

"You... You're telling me that you refused foster homes?"

"Well, yes, I did. I thought you knew."

"No! How could I?" he snapped, moving away from her.

Her hand shot out, grabbing him before he could get off the bed. "Tae-sik, wait. I'm sorry that you're mad, but — you didn't abandon me, back then. I wasn't about to abandon you either."

Tae-sik sighed, anger deflating. "I thought I told you not to do stupid things for my sake."

"I did it for my own sake, too. I didn't want to lose you."

Not knowing how to respond to that, Tae-sik kept silent. He was deep in thought when her head hit his shoulder. Stiffening, he glanced down.

She was asleep. Her body had apparently slipped to the side when she dozed off, and now he was stuck. He wanted to move her into a more comfortable position, but at the same time he didn't want to risk waking her up.

Slowly, slowly, he twisted his body so that her neck was at less of an angle. It meant her head basically rested on his chest instead, as he slid down the bed a bit.

It was the closest anyone had been to him, since Yeon-soo.

He had a few moments of feeling terrified at the sheer _rightness_ of it, before sleep finally claimed him.

\----

Contrary to what he'd told himself, he stayed.

The notion of 'only one night' turned into 'one week', and then it became 'just a while longer'.

A bed was bought, and the room So-mi had kept her books and computer in was emptied and subsequently became his bedroom. He didn't resist it, not even when she started to talk about the empty building in the neighborhood that was up for rent. According to her, it would be the perfect spot for a pawnshop.

He'd taken on a couple of jobs here and there, construction mainly. They weren't interested in your past; as long as you had the strength to carry around bricks and metal pipes you were okay in their book.

And life was... good. He'd never be the man he had once been, but why would he? His family had been lost; reduced to a mass of flesh and bone, and a pool of blood on the pavement, in one split second. He would never regain that.

But that was starting to be something he could live with.

The concept of 'tomorrow' once again existed for him. He'd been willing to die for So-mi, but now he was _living_ for her. For himself, too — he was happy, being with her.

She was happy as well, even if there were times when she got something unreadable in her eyes. And there were moments where she seemed to be about to say something, something very important, only to turn away from him, distant.

It was his current goal; deciphering that silence. Deciding what to do with his life could come later.

\----

"Ajeossi."

The voice was out of place. Tae-sik ignored it in favor of trying to reach for So-mi again. But she kept slipping away at the last second, leaving his fingers to grasp empty air.

She was crying, the sound echoing in the darkness. Crying, but she had no _eyes_ — he'd failed her, had been too slow in finding her. He was unable to protect the people he loved, whether it was his wife and unborn child, or-

"Ajeossi!" This time the voice calling his name was accompanied by a hand, shaking his shoulder. He flinched away from the touch, heart thundering in his ears. He just barely managed to stop himself from throwing a defensive punch at the unknown assailant.

"So-mi," he croaked, inwardly cringing at the state of his voice. Damn, he'd probably been screaming.

She reached out, smoothing away the hair that was plastered to his sweaty brow. It was an intimate touch, and Tae-sik had to fight the urge to close his eyes.

He forced his breathing to slow down. It was easier than usual, thanks to her touch. It anchored him to reality, an indisputable proof that it had just been a dream. She was alive and well; right there with him.

"Sorry that I woke you," he said quietly.

She shook her head. "Don't apologize. What were you dreaming about?"

"I — I don't remember," he lied.

"You can tell me." Her hand moved down to hold his hand. She squeezed it, encouragingly.

"Don't remember, I said."

Her eyes narrowed, and for a moment it seemed like she'd argue. Then she relaxed, shrugging. "That's too bad," she said. "Because I've had this persistent nightmare, for a long time now. I think it'd help to talk about it — but if that's how you feel..."

It was enough to make him smile. She was essentially blackmailing him, and she knew damn well that he'd go for it too.

Maybe it'd turn out to be a blessing in disguise, as there was a chance that the nightmare she spoke of could be the reason for her behavior. Perhaps that was what she'd been trying to say, but simply hadn't known how to broach the subject? It was worth a shot.

"I dream about you," he said.

There was no triumphant smile of getting her way, instead her eyes just grew sad. "I know," she replied. "You were calling my name."

He'd figured as much. "You're walking around, lost, and I can't reach you. Your eyes are gone."

Her eyebrows drew together in a sorrowful little arch. "Tae-sik-"

"Your turn," he said, cutting off whatever she'd been about to say.

"I thought _we_ were going to talk. Not just me, but you too."

"What more is there to say?"

"How about 'I'm alive and well — including my eyes — thanks to you'?"

"You know that's not true. _I'm_ not the one who saved you, not really."

Ramrowan. That had been his name. Tae-sik had killed countless of men in his life, but there was only one that he regretted. Had he known what Ramrowan had done for So-mi, he would've found a way to spare him.

Instead, Tae-sik would forever remember the look in his eyes, and the gurgle that had risen out of his throat as he choked on his own blood.

"I'm grateful to him, and I wish I could've thanked him for it — but it's not the same." So-mi's voice was stern, utterly immovable in her belief in him.

"What is your dream about, So-mi?"

She sighed, but there was a stubborn look in her eyes that made it very clear that this wasn't the last time they'd be having this discussion. "It's really similar to yours, actually."

Tae-sik stiffened.

"No, not like that," So-mi quickly clarified. "I dream that _I'm_ the one who's too late. We're in the parking garage again, but this time I don't get out of the ambulance fast enough. And you... you pull the trigger, killing yourself."

He didn't know what to say. Trusting his instincts, he simply reached out and pulled her close. Her arms went around him in an instant, so tight that it was almost hard to breathe.

"Do you have it often?" he asked, stroking her back in a soothing motion.

"I used to, but not since you moved in. Haven't had it even once since then." She sounded relieved.

Tae-sik, on the other hand, felt a pang of disappointment. That wasn't it, then. But he had to know, in order to be able to do something about it. She valued communication, and perhaps that was the best solution. To simply _ask_ her.

"So-mi," he began haltingly, "is something wrong? Lately, you've been — you look like you want to tell me something, but you never do."

Her body, so soft and relaxed in his arms, suddenly grew stiff. She drew back, eyes wide. She almost looked afraid.

"It's okay. You can say it, whatever it may be."

"I really can't," she whispered, refusing to meet his gaze. "I'm sorry, but I just can't."

"Do you think I'll get mad? Wait, is this about the pawnshop? Do you want it to be more like it used to, is that it? Because I will, if-"

"No!" So-mi more or less yelled. Her reaction was entirely unexpected, silencing him. "No," she repeated, "I don't want it to be like it used to. That's the whole problem."

Tae-sik didn't understand. Unless... "Are you trying to tell me that you want me to become an agent again?"

"I'm _trying_ to tell you that I love you."

The world came to a screeching halt.

So-mi covered her face in her hands, letting out a laugh that sounded more like a sob. "There," she said, voice muffled, "I did it. I finally did it."

Tae-sik watched, still unable to process her words, as she lowered her hands. "It's idiotic, don't you think? To have everything you've ever dreamed of, yet still wanting _more_."

"...How long?" he finally managed to ask.

"I don't know — for as long as I've known you, maybe. I didn't realize it until much later, though. Remember that time when I asked you about love? How you should know that was indeed what you felt?"

He remembered that moment well. She never had told him who she'd fallen for, and now it suddenly made perfect sense why not.

"It was about me, huh?"

"Yeah." She laughed, a bit nervously. "You're taking this a lot better than I had expected."

"I don't think it's quite sunk in yet," he said, wanting to be honest with her.

She smiled at him, but it didn't reach her eyes. "I've waited for you for twelve years. So take your time thinking about it, I don't mind waiting a while longer."

That said, she got up from his bed and walked out. She closed the door behind her, leaving him to his thoughts.

\----

He spent two days thinking about it.

Looking at her closely, he tried to determine whether or not he still saw her as the child she'd once been. If he did, even just a little bit, he couldn't in good conscience stay with her.

But, somewhat to his surprise, he realized that he didn't. What he saw was a woman, full of life and optimism and strength. She was his best friend, someone he'd do _anything_ for — and he also knew that she, in turn, would do anything for him.

It was as if he'd worn blinders, but now that she'd awakened him to the possibility, he saw a lot of things in a new light. The memory of her crawling into his bed, cold toes and all, made him feel very differently than it had before.

That night, he went to her.

She answered right away when he knocked on her door. Apparently he wasn't the only one who'd been lying sleepless lately.

He walked up to her bed, taking note of the way she pulled the blanket up to her chin. She'd never been self-conscious like that before, and it wasn't like her nightgown was revealing in the least. It made it clear that no matter the outcome of the night, their relationship had been irrevocably changed — for the both of them.

"Can I sit down?" he asked, gesturing to the bed.

Immediately she moved aside, even folding back the blanket and offering him to share its warmth. He found himself wishing that the room was less dark, so he could tell whether or not she was blushing.

Tae-sik sat down, and — after one final moment of hesitation — got under the blanket with her.

Now that he was finally here, everything that he'd planned on saying was gone. "I want to..." he began, trailing off when he realized he couldn't possibly put it into words.

"Yes?" So-mi prompted. Her hand found his, tentatively brushing against it. He grabbed it and held on for dear life.

"I want to try. I can't promise you that I can be what you want, but — I do love you. I really do. If we can just take things slow, I think-"

He didn't get further than that, as So-mi more or less rolled onto him and embraced him tightly. Her warmth enveloped him, and he found himself reaching up to tilt her head towards his.

The kiss was slow and perhaps a bit clumsy, but for Tae-sik it was like tasting heaven. Judging by So-mi's shining eyes when they finally broke apart to breathe, she felt the same way.

\----

He woke up alone, still in her bed. He'd probably dozed off somewhere after kiss number seven, utterly exhausted but very happy.

The door was open, allowing him a glimpse out into the kitchen. So-mi was cooking breakfast while humming a song. He watched her for a while, enjoying the sound.

Realizing that he'd enjoy the feel of her lips even more, he decided to get up. A flash of color caught his eye, making him freeze mid-motion.

The nail on his left ring finger had a red heart painted on it.


End file.
